Did you know that 71% of students report bullying as an ongoing problem? This staggering fact reminds us that the fight against bullying isn’t just about stopping harmful behavior—it’s also about helping individuals understand themselves, build confidence, and develop self-acceptance.
One way to do this is by reflecting on your personal make-up—what makes you, you. My father often encouraged my siblings and me to reflect on five key areas of life that can shape our identity and help us embrace who we are. Together, these five steps form the acronym SHAPE.
S – Spiritual Gifts
The first question to ask yourself is: What are my spiritual gifts?
These are inner qualities that naturally flow outward to benefit you and those around you. Some people are born leaders, while others thrive in support roles. Recognizing your gifts helps you not only accept yourself but also appreciate the unique ways you can contribute to the world.
H – Heart’s Desire
Next, consider your heart’s desire. Ask yourself: What do I truly love to do?
Your heart’s desires are the things you are passionate about—whether that’s helping young people, caring for animals, or creating art. Taking time to reflect on your desires helps you uncover your true passions and guide your path forward.
A – Abilities
While desire is important, abilities matter too. Ask: What am I good at doing?
Abilities can range from speaking, programming, and writing to drawing, singing, or problem-solving. The key is to focus on honing your own abilities, not comparing yourself to someone else.
P – Personality
Your personality is what makes you unique. For example, you may have the skills to be a waitress, but if your personality doesn’t fit the fast-paced, social environment, it may not be the right role for you. As my father used to say, “That’s how you get nurses with a traffic director attitude.” When your personality aligns with your gifts, desires, and abilities, you find greater satisfaction and peace.
E – Experience
Finally, experience brings it all together. You may have the desire and ability to teach, serve, or create, but without experience, you may feel unprepared. The good news? Experience can be gained. Education, training, and real-world practice help you grow stronger and more confident in your chosen path.
Embracing Your SHAPE
By understanding your SHAPE—Spiritual gifts, Heart’s desire, Abilities, Personality, and Experience—you begin to build a foundation of self-acceptance and love. When individuals know who they are and value their unique identity, they are better equipped to face bullying with resilience and strength.
Together We Stand Against Bullying