"It started in Year 7, which I think is like 6th Grade inAmerica or something. There was this one boy; he was
my tormentor, my intimidator and my oppressor. He
considered me to be nothing more than a fat, ugly,
mentally unstable child. I would go home, and I would
cry myself to sleep every night without fail. He lived not
to far away from me, and some nights he would follow
me home. He would torment me and call me names the whole journey. I kept to
myself about the bullying for SEVEN months.
But by the time I finally opened up about it, I was already diagnosed clinically
depressed and I was already diagnosed with Trichotillomania - which was triggered
through the bullying. Trichotillomania is a form of self abuse, and basically where
you pull out your own hair constantly and uncontrollably. You cant help it and it is
very difficult to stop. So now, I’m left eyelash-less, I don’t have eyebrows, and I
have bald patches in my hair.
The worst thing is, it wont stop. There have been cases where people have
stopped it, and there hair has grown back like the disorder never even existed in
their lives. But me? No. That wont happen. Most of my hair wont grow back, and
the hairs/eyebrow hairs/eyelashes that do grow back blonde (I have naturally dark
brown hair). They wont grow back because I have damaged the hair follicles. The
bald patches are so bad, that I have to put eye shadow in my hair that is the same
color as my natural hair color, to cover it up. Even though it’s still noticeable. I have
to draw my eyebrows on, but you can tell they’re drawn on so it’s still noticeable. I
have to wear eyeliner to try and hide it, but still, from the side it’s noticeable.
This only give people another reason to bully me and more people joined in with
the torment because it was ‘abnormal‘ to them. Since Year 7 (6th Grade), I’ve
started cutting myself, burning myself, and starving myself. I’m now 14, in Year 10
(9th Grade), and I am covered from head to toe in scars, I’ve tried several times to
end my life and I weigh just over 6 stone, which in proportion with my height and
age is awfully underweight. Yet they still don’t stop.
I’ve been having counseling and support from CAMHS (Child and Adolescent
Mental Health Service) for almost 4 years now. Everyone knows, but not many
care.
The bullying has decreased now, but I’m still left with the physical and mental
scars. If you’re being bullied, PLEASE speak out! You don’t have to suffer alone x"
